never walk alone.

Why oh why must my parents end up in divorce? If they are on good terms after divorcing, it is fine with me. But they are still on loggerheads and cursing each other each time we chit-chatted about anything.

I realised that I have not met my mum for a couple of months now. Call me unfilial or whatever but somehow I find it difficult to get through to my mum. If I call her, she seldom picks up the phone. When I sms her countless times, she replied only on a few occasions. And recently my elder sister sms me this shit, "Eh korang dah takde mak kan..Korang dah tak ingat pasal mak lagi kan..Mak gi KL korang tak ingat kappe..Walaupun korang tak ingat mak,die tetap ingat korang beli baju..Kalau free, call mum lah..". The sms was sent to my bro and me.
For English translation :
"Eh you guys don't have a mum already right..Don't remember her already right..Mum went to KL,you guys forgot ar..Although you guys forgot, she still remembered and bought clothes for you guys..If you're free, call mum lah..".

Yeah. I completely and totally forgot that my mum went to KL because in the first place she went to KL with her siblings' families too. And it took place during the sec school's 1 week holidays. At that point of time, there was no break for me and I was in the middle of completing projects and so on. Lame reason right?? Family comes first and I totally forgot about my mum. How stupid and lame can I be. My mum was the one who have taken care of me for God knows how many years and this is how I repay her. Lightning should really strike me now.

I'm sorry Mum that I have been neglecting you. There are times where I completely forget about you in my mind, I admit that, but you have never been far from me in my heart. Things were, and are, abit complicated right now. I promise I'll meet you but first you have to answer my call and reply my sms-es. If not, I don't know how else to meet you. Please I beg you.

I have not been a good son to her. And neither to my dad. And I know it.
But I have always given my best to make both of them happy.
But time doesn't permit me to do so.
I can't kill two birds with one stone.
It is impossible.
Just impossible.

Ya Allah, please guide me through this rough patch with my family.

Sometimes things can't get way out of hand.

Hidanilson Outzz...